Rain in LA.

Jeez. Next we’ll have peace in East Timor?

While we’re on the topic of East Timor. The word Timor, translated in the Timorese language Tetum, means “east”… which would ultimately make the name “East Timor” sound a little awkward… don’t you think?

The people of Timor would probably laugh their heads off if they learned that I just claimed rain in LA. “Pfffff! You call that rain?” For a country that gets 1400 mm of rain a year, the 0.005 mm of dampness we got this morning would probably be labelled imposter rain or pussy rain.

And they have a point.

All I know is that I won’t be betting my kidneys that it rained today as I didn’t hear any thunder, see any rain or lightning…. nope…. no pitter, patter, pitter, patter, rumbling sounds in the sky and all that good stuff. All I know is that on the way to work, I could see the bottom of the car in front reflected off the road…. and the air today was so thick with moisture you could catch a water-borne disease by breathing the air. Actually, the air today kinda reminded me of the time I got back from a weekend in St Louis, stepped into my Waugh St. apartment and realized I did not turn off my humidifier before leaving.

I was stubborn at first, refusing to run the windshield wiper on my way to work. I mean, it wasn’t raining. Why use the wiper? Drops continued to accumulate on my windshield to the point it got too thick for me to see. I reluctantly flipped on the wiper. It swung left and it swung right. Now I really couldn’t see shit. Paper mache.

Those of you who know me also know that I wash my car…. ummmm… on average once a year. I normally welcome heavy rain with open arms since it saves me the $5.75 I would have to otherwise spend at the car wash. I do not, however, welcome lethargic, half-hearted rain mainly because it eats into that even coat of silky dust on my car’s skin, leaving its complexion looking like open pores after a cold shower. The way a car is dressed reflects a lot on the owner of the car and today, I had to deal withthe consequences my car looking neither clean nor dirty… as though it were confused… lost… or still in search of its identity.

And to make matters worse, the new rain coat formed an adhesive base that changed my car into a giant piece of scotch tape, vulnerable to everything in its path. I think I’ll adopt a highway.

You could melt a boiled egg with today’s heat. What was worse was that I did not have my sunglasses with me. I was like, I can’t see a mother fucking thing and I probably ran over innocent women and children on the pavement. And the inside of my eyes were getting blow torched even when after I welded my eyes shut. I think some one has to invent on of them silver sun shade things we use for our car windshields for our eyes. Eyelids don’t work anymore for me. I can see a silhoutte of the veins in my eyes when I’m in the sun and have my eyes shut. Somedays, you try to be a smart ass and challenge nature by glaring straight into the sun. The only thing you’ll accomplish by this is that you get to walk around with a targeting system, them green circles, in your eyes.