This is the first week that I’ve devoted primarily to my writing. And I’ve never felt so good about myself.

The 6 weeks prior had been some of the worst in my life, and I felt like I was living in a tormentuous hell without doors. But the heaviness I had within has been replaced by a new burden on my shoulders. It’s a cross I now have to bear, but it’s a good weight to carry. I finally feel I’m headed in the right direction. I only have to find the legs for it.

I’ve been fully focused on just one book for now, and I truly believe in my heart that this will be an International Best Seller. I came up with the central plot of this story some 3 years back, and actually had plans to convert it into a Hollywood script. But I read an article somewhere which said that the best way to have your idea made into a movie is not to hand in a script, but to make it into a book. So that’s what I’m doing.

I actually spent a year in London researching some of the subject matter that will be included into this book. So I’m not really starting from zero, which is encouraging.

I think I’ve finally untangled that big ball of spaghetti stuck in my chest. After over a month of soul searching, I’ve boiled it down to this. I find I’m most happy when I’m engaged in creative expression. This could be through my writing, photography, painting, gardening, poetry or music.

Of the art forms, I’ve chosen writing to be the one I will engage in primarily for now as I feel it allows me the most expression. I guess when words fail me, and I feel the need for different expression, then I may turn to other art forms for relief.

I will be writing 3 books concurrently, although as time passes I’m pretty sure one of the books will emerge as an outright favourite, and I’ll end up devoting all my time to just the one. For now the plan is to take a year off from full time employment to realise my dream. Finances will be extremely tight. It will be a long arduous climb. God help me.

After a month of bumming around, I finally got round to visiting Joshua, who now runs StART Society. The purpose of the home is to use art and the performing arts to put a smile on the faces of underprivileged children. I had a great time there, and for the first time in weeks felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. Watching the kids was a therapeutic experience. Even though some of them have experienced some really ugly realities, carefreeness came so naturally to them. Looking at what some of us have become, I think the world would be a better place if we learned more from them, and if they learned less from us.