Too soon

Victor Gutierrez and Jeremy Chin working on a school science project.

I no longer could see through my tears and pulled the car off to the side. “I told you to reach for the stars dummy, not become one.” A crushing sadness closed in on me and I shuddered uncontrollably.

Victor and I go back 11 years. He was 8 at the time, and we were matched through the Big Brother, Big Sister program. From the moment we met I knew, I knew that this kid was worth investing in. He had a kind soul.

Yesterday, I received news that Victor had been taken in a car crash. It hit me like a wrecking ball. I felt like I had lost my own son. The last few hours have been a mix of sieving through memories, looking at old photos, struggling through the tears… and lots of smiling. Oh, the good times we shared.

The photo above is us working on his science project. It’s one of my favourites because I think it encapsulates the person he was:  a shining light, beaming.

I look at this and immediately I feel that I’m right there with him, in that same room, at that point in time, smiling. As the hours creep by, many things have been revealed to me. I’ve learnt that when you give a person your all, you are left with no regrets. I’ve learnt that lights don’t die but are passed on. And I’ve learnt that crying will not bring him back, but smiling will.

“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”
– Thomas Campbell



One thought on “Too soon

  1. Well done jeremy for your lovely book. I have read it and could not stop reading until the end. Learn a lot on running skills too. Thank you and keep writing….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>