How do you take on the world when you are no longer you? When the reins are held by another. When your wings have been clipped, your strings, snipped. When you’ve lost the ability to harness reason. When answers are met with questions, but not in reverse.

How do you take on the world when you are no longer you? When you are no longer the commander of your ship. When the wind in your sails have caught on fire. When you are the enemy in the blanket. When you can no longer deny entry to that which is harmful.

How do you take on the world when you are no longer you? When all your energies are focused on just getting you through your day. When every joule is recruited to quell the stampede inside. When your equilibrium has been tipped against your favour. When the uphill is made steeper by the avalanche of uncertainty cumulusing towards you. When the gradient stops being a gradient and turns into a wall.

How do you take on the world when you are no longer you? When you see the dimming light but have not the legs to walk towards it. When doubt has become your debilitation. When your desires have turned into the straps that bind you.

How do you take on the world when you are no longer you? The answer is simple. You don’t. You take on you. And it is only when you’ve conquered your demons, regained yourself, that the world is yours for the taking. After you’ve prevailed, please come for me.

You may not believe it but that phrase might actually save my tattered life. It is a pretty common phrase that you hear now and then, but it holds a much deeper meaning for me than what the original phrase meant to convey.

I’ve adopted “Dance as if no one is watching” as a metaphor to tell me to just be myself, and not worry so much about what other people think. I sometimes feel like I’m under the microscope and that I have to impress the world around me.  And when you spend your day worrying about what others are thinking, you end up doing nothing.
Funnily, I’ve gotten addicted to this song by Armin van Buren called, ‘Who is Watching’, and I’ve been playing it through my iPod like 10 hours a day.  Oddly too, this song is brilliantly representative of a poem I wrote years ago about Howard Stern and his divorce.

‘Who is watching’ basically talks about the self centeredness of one person who has focused all his energies on himself and his glory, but ends up miserable because he has no one to share his happiness with when he achieves what he set out to do.

What’s weird is the song carries a message opposite of “Dance as if no one is watching”. But I guess that has been the story of my being,  where I am my own thesis and anti-thesis, a twisted soul in constant conflict with himself.  But I think it is my bi-polar nature that allows me to grow and constantly arrive at new status quos.

I really should not bore you any further with my weird philosophies. It was supposed to be a carefree figure of speech which I’ve turned into a complicated mess.