No… not that type of dirty.

Many have asked me what I’ve been up to the past couple of months. Busy, busy, busy. Because I could not afford an editor, I spent a week poring through my work for one last time. I also could not afford a typesetter, so I spent another 2 weeks typesetting my book. My experience with Quark from over a decade ago came in useful. It was also a nightmare preparing the book to fit the Kindle and other eBook formats. That chewed off another couple weeks of time.

A few days were dedicated to finding the right printer and distributor for my book. I eventually decided on Vinlin to do my printing, and Horizon as a distributor. I made some major eleventh hour changes to the book, and turned 3 chapters into the first person. It flows a lot better I think. After the book was sent to the printer, I made last minute edits to the story following Haile Gebrselassie’s announcement that he was retiring.  My printer wasn’t too happy. At the time, he didn’t know that I was going to make changes another 3 times.

These days, I spend my time trying to line up book readings and book signings, arranging interviews with the media, writing speeches, preparing for my book launch, opening channels to global markets, corresponding with eager fans. I’ve also been reading Fuel… and making changes for the second edition. Anal me just can’t leave it alone.

I’ve currently given away 20 books, and sold 2. US sales for the print-on-demand version is at 14. Have developed a small following in the Philippines, Singapore and Indonesia. Am currently working on making the book available in the UK and Australia. The Kindle and the Nook version will be released following that. A controlled version of the book will be released on Scribd once all my sales channels are in place. In Malaysia, the book will be released in Kinokuniya, and select MPH and Borders stores by the end of the week. So I’ve been told. Will keep you posted.

Last night, I prayed with Oliver for the first time. We thanked God for the day we had received.  I led the prayer, and he recited after me… in his own way.

Jeremy: In the name of the Father, and of the the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Ollie: In the name the Father, the Son, and the Holeee Spirit.
Jeremy: Dear Lord, thank you for breakfast at Raju’s, for the shade under the tree, and the banana leaf we used as a plate.
Ollie: Dear Lot, Thank you for breakfast at Rajuice, for the shade under the tree, and the banana leaf we used as a plate. And there was a river.
Jeremy: No it was a big drain.
Oliver: There was lots of water. It was a river.
Jeremy: Thank you Lord for the river. Thank you for the movie we watched together, Finding Neverland.
Ollie: Finding Nevermind?
Jeremy: No, Finding Neverland.
Ollie: The man was dancing with the big dog.
Jeremy: Yes he was.  And thanks for the pens we used to draw the pictures, the oats we ate for lunch, the piece of chocolate, the Gummi Bears, and all the toys we played with. (He was jumping on the bed at this point). Thanks for the chicken we had for dinner.
Ollie: The chicken taste good.
Jeremy: Yes. And thank you for the full moon.
Ollie: We go out to see the moon. The moon so big. There was lots of clouds.
Jeremy: Yes. There were lots of clouds. Ok, come and make the sign of the cross. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Ollie: The Father. The Son. The Holee Speerit. Ayyyyymann.

Oh, by the way. He made the sign of the cross perfectly… both times.

I’ve often told people this, that the volume on my iPod is the most accurate measurement of my mood. The darker my mood, the higher her volume tends to be, her voice swallowing the screams within.

All of yesterday, she was silent. I tried to breathe life into her, followed all the steps that in the past used to work. Nothing. A deafening silence. Time has taken her.

The last 6 years, she’s been with me on almost every major adventure I’ve set off on; to the base of the Grand Canyon, across Europe, through the desert sands of Africa, atop mountains, above the clouds, below sea level, into tombs and catacombs, through sweltering heat, into sub-zero temperatures, past machine guns aimed at us. She’s been there at my happiest, and in many instances, been the tinder for those moments. Bravely, she’s taken the most treacherous journeys with me, into the eye of the tempest, through each storm life has sent my way.

A giving friend, an ungiving pillar. But even the best, have to one day relinquish their position.

Rest my friend. You have died.

But please know this. You are not dead to me. So deep and long you have sung to me, that your voice still lives within… the way a seashell traps the song of the ocean.