When I arrived, there was only one person in the waiting room, an old guy dressed in a blue suit. I learn that his name is Gerald, and a little later, that he is 72.

“So what are you in here for?” he asks.

For Gerald, the trip to the doctor was a big event, and he had on his Sunday best baby blue suit. His pants leg hung 2 inches above his ankles, exposing his striped blue and muddy yellow socks. It’s funny, because if you think about it, as you grow older, your body shrinks, and as a result, your clothes should actually grow longer.

Anyway, to answer Gerald’s question, I start to tell him about my big swollen toe, and my long sob story about being off the tennis court, how that far exceeded the pain in my toe. After going on for a tad to long, I feel bad. So I ask Gerald about his visit. When you ask a 72 year old about his health, be prepared for the longest story you’ll hear in your life.

Stranded with a dysfunctional heart, thyroid glands 4 times the normal size and a hip ripe for replacement, Gerald walked around with a pacemaker buried in his chest, a wooden cane, and a pocket full of drugs. This time around, Gerald was at Dr Goss’ to get prescription insoles for his $250 pair of shoes. His shoes cost what they cost because they had to be height adjusted, to make up for lack of length in one of his legs. Gerald then tells me about the colonoscopy he had two months ago, and the cataract surgery he was going to undergo in two days. To drive it home, he tells me about how he injured his hip; in a car accident where he lost his wife and kid. I tell ya, this Gerald guy could make a guy on death row feel lucky.

It takes me about an hour before I get to see the good doctor. The walls of his office are covered with plaques and certificates. There were also many celeb photos on his wall, each marker-penned with messages like, “Dear Dr Jeffrey Goss, Keep up the good work!’

Among the celebrity pictures were Cuba Gooding Jr., Paula Abdul and Ronald Reagan. Can you believe it? The same guy who touched Ronald Reagan’s feet was now going to touch mine.

Dr Goss looks at the X-ray, does some tests on my toe and can’t determine what’s wrong with it. He then takes out a tuning fork, hits it on his hand until it vibrates and then puts it on different points of my toe. I don’t really feel anything until he puts it on this one spot where the vibrations of the fork get driven right up a possible crack in my bone. He writes my swollen, aching toe off as having a stress fracture and prescribed plenty of rest.