Christmas, like bad luck, is around the corner. I made a trip over to the post office during my lunch break to mail off some Holiday postcards. There were about 8 bodies in front of me, and there were 3 open windows. Shouldn’t take long. 2 minutes per person, wait 3 turns and I should be like a paper plane out of my hand in 6 minutes. No freakin’ way. It was half an hour before it was my turn. And this is why.

“Would you like proof of mailing sir?” she says.

“No, thank you,” I says.

“Would you like proof receipt?” she says.

“No, thank you,” I says.

“Would you like to insure your items?” she says.

“No, Maam. I don’t think it is worth paying an extra $2.75 to insure a 25 cent post card that costs me 60 cents to mail. And just for argument sake, if say you guys were to actually lose my card,

… A would you guys pay me back for the cost of the card

… B would you guys pay me back for the cost of the card plus postage, plus the cost of insurance

… or C would you guys pay me back for the cost of the card plus postage, plus the cost of insurance, plus the broken heart of my 3 year old niece on the other side of the planet who excitedly tip toes on the hot tarmac of her driveway everyday hoping to see a card with a US Santa stamp on it.”

“Would you like a US Santa stamp with your post card?” she says.